Book for New Moms

By Jennifer Wider, MD

How to Reclaim Your body, Your Health, Your Sanity, and Sex Life After Having a Baby

“When I was pregnant with my first child, I had no absolutely no idea what to expect. I went about my business as if nothing was different. At work I’d occasionally glance down at my growing belly as thoughts of chubby, quiet, smiling babies dressed in all-white filled my mind. I had convinced myself that my life wouldn’t really change.

Fast forward a few months—I was sitting in my infant daughter’s room and we were both crying. She was crying because she needed a new diaper; I was crying for my old life, my lack of sleep and my resentment toward my husband whose life hadn’t really changed at all. To add insult to injury, he came home that night “in the mood.” Was he on drugs?

Two months later, just as my daughter turned three months, I joined a support group for new mothers. It was at that moment, I started to see the light at the end of the “new mom tunnel.” There, amidst six other exhausted, overwhelmed and anxious women, I started to feel human again. The group was led by a child psychologist, but each discussion veered from the children and focused on us. Thank God for that one hour I could devote to myself each week, it truly kept me going.

We spoke about our sex lives, or lack of them; our emotional state of mind; how our bodies had changed forever; our issues about staying at home versus going back to work. Each week, there was a new topic and when the women found out that I was a doctor, the conversations shifted to our physical health. “Is it normal that my hair is falling out?” “Why can’t I lose the weight?” “Why are my feet larger, will they ever shrink to their normal size?” “If my child has the croup, can I get it?” “When will it stop hurting to have sex?” “Ever since I had my son when I laugh, urine comes out, is that normal?”

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