Note to Husbands: What to say

Note to husbands

When whatever you say, backfires:

Her moods and emotional vulnerability will get in the way of good communication for now.

Here’s what you’re up against:

— If you tell her you love her, she won’t believe you.

–If you tell her she’s a good mother, she’ll think you’re just saying that to make her feel better.

— If you tell her she’s beautiful, she’ll assume you’re lying.

–If you tell her not to worry about anything, she’ll think you have no idea how bad she feels.

— If you tell her you’ll come home early to help her, she’ll feel guilty.

— If you tell her you have to work late, she’ll think you don’t care.

But you can:

• Tell her you know she feels terrible.

• Tell her she will get better.

• Tell her she is doing all the right things to get better (therapy, medication, etc.).

• Tell her she can still be a good mother and feel terrible.

• Tell her it’s okay to make mistakes; she doesn’t have to do everything perfectly.

• Tell her you know how hard she’s working at this right now.

• Tell her to let you know what she needs you to do to help.

• Tell her you know she’s doing the best she can.

• Tell her you love her.

• Tell her your baby will be fine.

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