Note to husbands
When whatever you say, backfires:
Her moods and emotional vulnerability will get in the way of good communication for now.
Here’s what you’re up against:
— If you tell her you love her, she won’t believe you.
–If you tell her she’s a good mother, she’ll think you’re just saying that to make her feel better.
— If you tell her she’s beautiful, she’ll assume you’re lying.
–If you tell her not to worry about anything, she’ll think you have no idea how bad she feels.
— If you tell her you’ll come home early to help her, she’ll feel guilty.
— If you tell her you have to work late, she’ll think you don’t care.
But you can:
• Tell her you know she feels terrible.
• Tell her she will get better.
• Tell her she is doing all the right things to get better (therapy, medication, etc.).
• Tell her she can still be a good mother and feel terrible.
• Tell her it’s okay to make mistakes; she doesn’t have to do everything perfectly.
• Tell her you know how hard she’s working at this right now.
• Tell her to let you know what she needs you to do to help.
• Tell her you know she’s doing the best she can.
• Tell her you love her.
• Tell her your baby will be fine.