“Nobody would believe what an effort it is to do what little I am able.”
-Charlotte Perkins Gilman 1892
NOBODY WOULD BELIEVE…
Maybe it’s because nobody’s listening
Or maybe it’s because women are not telling us how bad they feel
Or maybe it’s because nobody’s asking the right questions
Or maybe it’s because women are so good at pretending that everything’s okay
Or maybe it’s because we are bound by social constraints that make it hard to admit that being a mother doesn’t always feel so good.
Maybe it’s because women afraid to tell someone how they really feel for fear that they’ll be misunderstood
WHAT AN EFFORT IT IS…
It’s hard to pretend that everything’s okay when you feel so bad.
It’s hard to get through the day when you believe that your children would be better off without you.
It’s hard to go through the motions when you’d rather be sleeping or crying or withdrawing, or running away.
It’s hard to cope with the daily task of living when every breath hurts, when the day feels impossibly long, and when being alone with your baby feels paralyzing and life threatening
It’s hard to make sense out of feeling so bad, so scared, so alone, so misunderstood, so guilty, so angry, and so confused.
WHAT LITTLE I AM ABLE…
Symptoms get in the way. Suddenly, little things become big things and big things become insurmountable. When you factor in the depression, the deep sadness, the weakening of spirit, the exhaustion – there’s nothing left to access in order to simply get through the day…
“Nobody would believe the effort it is to do what little I am able.”